My Crazy Just Can’t Compete

I would hereby like to thank the people in my building for reminding me that no matter how crazy and unrelatable I feel some days, I could NEVER be as batshit crazy as the majority of them.

Today I needed to run out to the car to retrieve something. On my way out, I made a point of hopping over an old leaf someone had tracked into the building on their shoe. No biggie. On my way back in no more than five minutes later, the leaf was mysteriously gone, and in its place, someone had left two large soup bowls, stacked, containing a jar of mysterious red sauce and a handful of peeled carrots that had obviously seen better days. On the floor. In the middle of the hallway.

I looked around for a dead body, because it would at least offer me a reasonable explanation, but disappointingly enough, there were no bodies to be found. I listened for the sounds of juvenile morons tittering from behind their closed door to indicate it was an idiotic prank, but nada. Not to mention it was way too early and the worst place ever to leave Santa a healthy snack. I had simply run out of all sane options and I felt weird standing there in the hallway with the most unappetizing refreshments I had ever seen.

So I left. For the record, I did take the garbage out a short while later and the bowls had vanished, mangy carrots and all.

And so she knew she was never meant to solve this little mystery. But at the end of the day, at least she still had her sanity intact – partially, anyway.


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