Yes. It is winter. It will snow at some point this winter, just as it did last winter, and the winter before that.
Yes, you should buy an ice scraper for the car and while you’re at it, buy a reliable snow shovel too. It will cost you ten bucks, but it will last for years to come. Just do it now. You won’t regret it and then you too can be prepared when, predictably, it snows again.
Yes, you should pull your snow boots out from the dark recesses of your closet and make sure there are no poisonous spiders hiding out in them before you cram your sensitive little toesies in there. There’s no point in freezing your ass off and burning all those high-carb calories while shoveling if you’ve only got an hour or two of quality time left before your foot turns green and falls off.
No, you do not need to buy a month’s worth of food. Don’t be ridiculous. We all know this is just an excuse for you to overeat for the next day that there will actually be snow on the ground. The only thing you need to stock up on is BOOZE. Again, you won’t regret it – do I really need to explain why?
And finally, YES, spring will come again. Maybe.
*Disclaimer: This service announcement does not apply to people who live in ACTUAL snowy climates, only to the people who only think they do.