I just want to say yay for pancakes today, and yay for strong, intelligent, beautiful, talented, and inspiring women! Women can be our biggest allies and advocates, but all too often, I find they are our bullies and adversaries.
This has been weighing on my mind greatly these past few weeks. When I had been newer to my field of employment I had a string of female supervisors who bullied me mercilessly, always threatened by my talent and my enthusiasm (and even my tall and thin stature). I vowed that one day when it was my turn, I’d be a much better manager. I would support my female staff in pursuing their dreams, and I would be the biggest cheerleader of their successes.
And, in an ideal world this is just how things would work out for those of us who want to do good.
But, human beings are complicated creatures, and sometimes no amount of wishful thinking will turn around a resentful, lazy, bad-tempered employee who’s hellbent on manipulating you by any means possible, dodging work responsibilities, and then badmouthing you to anyone who will listen should you dare to address the performance shortcomings or behavioral problems.
And, that’s where I find myself these days – stuck at the corner of Hopeless and Livid. Livid because I just can’t believe I’ve invested so much professionally into this woman I’ve known for years, who now as a direct report spends all of her days telling lies and thinking up ways to manipulate me into getting out of work. Hopeless, because good people don’t do what she’s been doing, but mostly because good people can recognize when they’ve blown a wonderful opportunity and lost the trust of someone who had been, at one point in time, a true advocate for their career advancements and a huge supporter for their future successes.