It’s been so long! The truth is, this post had gone through many iterations in my head over the past few weeks, and even more on the page today, which is why there’s been no post before now. I knew I had to write about this, but I’m also pretty sure it’s going to make me seem like an awful human being, so well, that’s been a bit of a stumbling block. But, I’ve decided I have to face this head on, and so without further ado, my topic for today will be: REVENGE. The good ol’ fashioned kind.
You see, I’m a fairly unlucky person and I’ve frequently been thrown into the path of pretty shitty people. People who have been unnecessarily cruel to me, or even just selfish assholes who have taken advantage of my kind, generous nature to further their own interests. Most recently, one of these people was my employee.
Anyone who has been a manager knows how hard it can be when you mistakenly hire someone who is, to put it plainly, a bad fit all around. You know the type – someone who is narcissistic, obstinate, lazy, insubordinate, a raging hypochondriac, and frankly, not even close to being the brilliant hot shit they think they are. Every ounce of their energy is spent thinking up ways to irritate you and to avoid doing any work, and they spread vicious lies about your character to anyone who will listen. As the professional and the boss, you’re never allowed to just call them out on their shit to put an end to it. While you’re busy collecting hundreds of pages of documentation for HR, they get to continue parading around the office bragging to anyone who will listen that you, the manager, are just too stupid to catch on to their little ruse.
Well, and so it went for me, and I’ll give it to this girl, because I was miserable thanks to her shenanigans. But, guess what? I finally, FINALLY won one. I beat this brat at her own game, and this victory felt better than anything (work-related) has in a long time.
You see, while she was burning through her vacation days every week with her phony illnesses, I was saving my leave and biding my time. When I’d had enough of the bullshit, I planned myself a nice, long vacation, leaving that idiot to handle an immense amount of work in my absence. Let’s be honest – I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew she would crumble from the pressure, and the thought of forcing her to face her own pathetic incompetence filled me with an almost incomparable glee. She didn’t make it two whole days before turning in her notice, and freeing me forever of the burden that was supervising her lousy behind.
See what I was saying about maybe being a horrible person?
In any case, revenge is so foreign to me I can honestly say that it’s been a huge shock just how purely satisfying it feels. Everyone always says success is the best (and only acceptable form of) revenge, but let’s face it – for the perpetually unlucky, success may just be a pipe dream, no matter how hard you work. This, however? Getting rid of this constant thorn in my side without having to do anything more taxing than planning an obnoxiously-timed vacation? Well, that feels just about right to me.
Tell me I’m not alone in this – anyone else with a feel-good revenge story out there??