Well, all I can say is that this wasn’t my first jury summons and it certainly isn’t likely to be my last. No matter how many times I go, no matter what I might hear in the course of this case or that, the most interesting thing by far always proves to be the pool of potential jurors themselves.
This time was no exception. Observations (in no particular order):
- It is in no way comforting when after going through the security screening you are asked to remove something that could be used as a weapon from your purse, and when you respond with confusion (“Tweezers?”), that person is interrupted by another security person who states that that was actually the previous person’s bag. You know, the bag that is now gone, “weapon” and all. Sigh.
- The summons was for 8:30am. Why are you waltzing in here at 10am asking me if this is where you sign in? The answer is yes, an hour ago. Are you packing a time machine and just didn’t feel like sharing it with the rest of us?
- Why did you spend 5 minutes irritating me with your grumbles about how you just can’t believe you have to be here when the whole time you knew you had documentation in your purse that would get you immediately excused from service? So, let’s get this straight – the rest of us get to potentially spend hours/days/weeks here, but you’re the one we should be pitying?
- When they say they are taking “medical exemption letters ONLY” at that time, what does that mean to you? Does it mean you should walk up there with some excuse about your work commitment or your planned vacation? Hmmm???
- What is the age at which you can start publicly referring to yourself as “Mama,” as in “Just as long as you make room for Mama”? Because, I have to say, that got a HUGE laugh from the crowd, and I’m totally thinking about adopting it.
- When someone inevitably starts screaming obscenities and threats in the next room don’t expect the regular staff to react at all. Not even a bat of the ol’ eyelids to confirm for the jurors that they aren’t just hearing voices in their own heads. But, of course, it’s so reassuring that a nonexistent voice might’ve been a possibility for pretty much every juror in the room.
- Business casual attire does NOT mean you can walk in there looking like you’re scheduled to work the street corner later that day. Business casual does not mean I should be staring at your butt cheeks because you’ve got your jeans belted below your crack. Oh, but to the woman reading a sub-chapter entitled “creating your value” in a business management textbook, who also happened to be wearing a see-through blouse and a statement bra: I heart you, girl. Nothing says “dress for success!” like you.
- And finally, Is Juror Appreciation Week a real thing or some kind of cosmic joke? Because, umm, have you seen your jury pool of late? Yikes.