Because really, when does a respectable lady get to use the word “pimp” in casual conversation anymore?
I’d like to start by saying a big hello to my fellow writers – those of ruffians, rapscallions, hopeless romantics, and even, dare I say it, respectable ladies – writers who are going to fearlessly take the plunge and participate in Pitch Wars 2016 (link to their bios here). Hello to the amazing mentors who will selflessly devote their time and energy to the development of these diamond-in-the-rough manuscripts. And, of course, thank you to the people who are making this opportunity possible, including Pitch Wars’ organizer, Brenda Drake, and the #PimpMyBio host, Lana Pattinson.
In introduction, I write under the nom de plume Vivienne Frist; a name I love, because it’s prim and proper with just a hint of mischief (like any good cocktail, no?). Froofy romantic I am not, but sassy, zany smartmouth, I suppose I am. Good for writing, but maybe not so great for my conservative office job. Eight hours a day I’m a caged animal teetering around in high heels and pencil skirts, hoping in the name of cheesecake that I won’t actually say what I’m thinking, because as you know, the mind of a writer is a dangerous, wacky place. By day I’m a midlevel manager and in addition to overseeing our business processes, I field consumer complaints for my department. Lots of them. I know what you’re thinking. That just oozes sex appeal, doesn’t it? I mean, who in their right mind would give up all that glamour and splendor to be a writer?
Don’t get me wrong; it’s okay for a boring day job, but it’s a boring day job. Do you see the problem here? I was feeling a bit melodramatic the other day, so I put together this helpful visual aid:
Other than that, I answer to two demanding cat overlords, and if you’re wondering how in the hell this happened, well then please know, so am I. I chronicled the whole debacle in my very first blog post here. You should read it if you want to know how a self-avowed dog person can turn into a crazy ol’ cat lady overnight. It’s the stuff of nightmares right there, I tell you.
For Pitch Wars 2016, I will be submitting an adult fiction manuscript (blending both suspense and literary elements) with a cast of diverse and memorable characters – characters I both love and despise in equal measure. While I am still making some tweaks to the manuscript, it will be complete at approximately 80,000 words. The premise is as follows:
What exactly does one do when they wake up handcuffed to a hospital bed with no memory of the past few years of their life? Evie’s not quite sure, but she has a litany of painful injuries, intrusive visits from hospital staff, and bewildering accusations to keep her occupied in the meantime. As the days go on, it becomes increasingly evident that Evie’s in a lot more trouble than she could have ever imagined. In order to avoid an almost-certain criminal conviction and confinement in one of the country’s dreaded prison states, she is going to have to both recover her memory and pull off the most brilliant and daring of escapes, and she only has a few weeks left to do it. The stakes are high; if she’s not able to succeed, her fate will be sealed and she will be lost forever.
Thank you for visiting my post. I sincerely look forward to the possibility of working with a mentor during Pitch Wars, and appreciate what an enormous opportunity it would be for me and my beloved manuscript. If you have any questions or feedback, please feel free to post them in the comments or to contact me via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m also on Twitter, so please feel free to connect with me there: @lifevivified.