I was walking home from yoga today when I saw a big ol’ basset hound. He kept pulling his owner across the sidewalk in the most determined manner I had ever seen. I laughed and said to her, “I don’t know, but I think you’re supposed to be over there.”
She laughed too and responded, “He’s in mourning right now. No one’s explained to him that the pet store here has closed, and he doesn’t understand why he can’t go in for his usual evening treat.”
This got me thinking about what funny creatures we are (and not just because we adore dogs that are three times longer than they are tall with enormous floppy ears, wrinkles, and disproportionately large feet). No, because we are creatures of habit, and even the slightest change, like making healthier eating choices (ahem, I’m looking at you basset hound!) hurts, no matter how much we try to embrace it or know that it’s good for us.
I’ve been absent from blogging for the longest stretch of time this summer, because I wanted to focus on another goal; one that I’d been planning to tackle for nearly an entire year. The thing about it is that I knew I was going to do this, had even been looking forward to it, but when the summer arrived I felt almost immobilized with fear at the prospect of actually sitting down and doing it. There were so many days of boundless amounts of self-doubt, followed by limitless guilt at failing to meet my own expectations. And, why was I so afraid to dive in, when I knew it would get me one step closer to my lifelong dream? Why was it so hard to break out of the mold and actually go after something I knew I wanted?
I don’t have an answer, but I am proud to say that when it came down to it, I pushed past all that self-directed negativity and accomplished my goal – at some level. It’s not perfect, and I’m okay with that. I’m just glad that I made the effort, that I created something. There will be a next phase, and maybe another ten phases of this project, but if each ones goes as well as the last, I’m confident I’ll have something pretty amazing at the end of it.