But, I Was Doing So Well!

Sigh.

I tried to stay above the fray, I really did. But, SOME people just won’t leave you be to enjoy your happy, reasonable place.

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You mean you didn’t want to be told off today by the office’s designated angry lady?

This week I made the mistake of asking an innocuous question at the office, and got treated to a rant lasting several minutes as a result. Why are people such assholes these days? Anyone?

A woman I work with had a picture on her desk calendar that looked like a well-known republican politician. I simply asked if it was him. She confirmed it, and I was about to walk away when she informed me that she was not happy with him. Why, oh why didn’t I flee the scene like a thief in the night!? Because, I am a glutton for punishment, that’s why.

Instead, curiosity got the best of my dumb-butt, because I mean, who doesn’t find extremists fascinating, right? And, I already knew she was quite the personality. What I wasn’t anticipating was the level of vitriol that was to be directed against me personally for taking a relatively moderate stance on things.

She started yelling immediately about how election day was the choice between the salvation of America or the total annihilation of the whole world should that “liberal” win the election. I think once my eyes stopped bugging out of my head and I’d picked my jaw up off the floor I casually muttered something about how I’d heard those liberals felt much the same way about what would happen if a certain orange, reality show “celebrity” were to win the election. I laughed nervously and started sidestepping away as fast as I could, but she lunged in front of me to block my escape route. I was trapped!

She continued to yell about our country’s healthcare system, and about the e-mail scandal. She started citing examples (real or imagined) of all the perverted behaviors displayed by our current and former president in graphic and definitely not office-appropriate detail. Ironically enough, her conservative behind seemed shocked and dismayed by their distasteful behavior, but she didn’t even bat an eye about her candidate’s long (and documented) history of inappropriate and discriminatory behavior towards women.

When she started delving deep into sordid conspiracy theories I once again tried to make a polite exit to no avail. The diatribe went on endlessly. Finally, I just threw up my hands and said, “Well, I haven’t heard any of that.”

That’s when she really blew her top and she screamed, “Well, of course not! Because, the whole thing is rigged! Because, the media is out to get him! You know what!? I can’t even talk to you anymore. You need to leave. NOW!”

Like, I was the one who had been doing any of the talking. Like, I was the one being unreasonable or trying to cram my opinions down her throat.

But, you know what? Keep all the crazy to yourself then, lady. It’s no skin off my nose, certainly. And, I happily left her office. Because, you don’t need to ask this girl twice.

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