Wow. Online dating sure is a shit show, isn’t it?
I’ve been on the site a number of weeks now, and I have had to wade through a lot of bad, including not one, but THREE guys I met the last time I decided to venture into the hell fires of online dating. Here’s the best bit: one of these jackasses I actually went out with several times a couple of years ago. You would think he would remember my face, right? RIGHT? Well, apparently not. It was great to see that he’s shaken up his conman routine a little bit in the past two years, however. This time he could tell what a “catch” I was, and he didn’t even have to meet me in-person to do it. Isn’t that special?
I’m going to leave that there though, because when I could no longer take his unctuous ways, I let him have it, unleashing a verbal tirade of unprecedented proportions. Poor bastard never saw it coming.
Instead I am going to talk about the ever-fragile egos some people possess. Do you know this past weekend I was contacted by an actual male model? Yeah, I know. I’m still shocked too. He was literally the most attractive person I have ever laid eyes on, and he wanted to talk to me. Pretty wild, huh?
Despite coming off as a total flake in his profile he sent me a very nice message asking about my writing. And, I was like, well, why not? So, I responded. Then I went to yoga and giggled my head off with the woman next to me about how I had somehow managed to bag a male model and this might just be the pinnacle of my life, even if his personality seemed to be about as awesome as a box of rocks.
Later in the day I was writing back to someone else when he must have seen I was online and sent me a message. That was fine; I started responding a few minutes later. Then the phone rang. IT WAS MY MOTHER (queue dramatic slasher-movie music).
We had a good laugh about how I was chasing after a model and when I got off the phone fifteen minutes later, I finished writing to him and hit send. Except that he had already written to me again.
That’s right. When I failed to respond immediately this forty-plus year old man threw a temper tantrum of epic proportions, because he thought I was blowing him off, and nobody puts baby in the corner – err wait, wrong dramatic scene – nobody blows the man-baby male model off.
It was all Sorry to have wasted your time. Bye! and I was like, Seriously, dude?
Sadly, he was serious. And, that just goes to show you. Even the most beautiful walking amongst us can be the most fragile, insecure dingbats too.
Sigh. The search continues.